Stop shouting at me!

If you have children you probably know the feeling that sometimes they don't listen to you. This is not unique to those with children, of course.

I may be slow but it has just occurred to me that they don't listen because I am not addressing my message correctly. I need to repackage what I am trying to say in a way that is appealing to them. They may then listen to my pearls of wisdom.

The same is required in any 'conversation' whether it be when you're trying to get a client to sign that new contract, a prospective lover to come in for coffee or a friend to lend you their new car for the weekend.

Your message has to be wrapped in such a way that they understand precisely what you are saying. I tend to write in ideas, which means I know what I am trying to say but you may not get the full meaning and think I am just prattling away incoherently. This usually happens when the brain and the mouth are going at different speeds (99% of the time with me).

It also explains why I usually don't think of the clever thing to say at the right time. I'm a good listener but I don't usually carry that on to the next step which is thinking about what the other person has said instead of what I want to say next.